BryeMye

A New Beginning

Mon, 05 Sep 2011 22:26:06 -0400

I start classes for my MFA in poetry tomorrow. I’m going to Columbia College in Chicago and have been moved into my apartment in beautiful Bucktown for a little over a month. I’m about to start a crazy lifestyle that I don’t want to stop for a long time.

It’s crazy getting my mind situated into the reality that this is life now. It’s the first time I’ve ever really lived outside of Michigan. It’s the first time I’ve ever really lived by myself. Chicago is the third largest city in the country and it feels like it. When I go to the bar with my Michigan ID, the bouncer looks at the ID funny even though I’m sure he sees it all the time.

This has basically led to me living moment to moment. I don’t really consider my macro situation lately. It’s kind of been just finishing tasks, one after another, and getting through evenings, dinners, dishes, nights.

I’ve been drinking a good bit of wine.

As my work responsibilities wind down (I’m continuing to work part-time remotely from home), I’ve really been considering what to do with myself. I think point one is to start making a name for myself in the poetry world in every way possible. I got a position as a Columbia Graduate Ambassador for the poetry program and will be pointing this blog to my weekly posts on that blog. I am looking at contributing to blogs such as HTMLGIANT with some reviews etc. I am obviously ramping up my poetry production and will be submitting a lot more now.

I need to get into the mode that this is life, but it feels funny, like my foundation’s been moved and I’m swimming but really I’ve been swimming for a while and it’s felt funny, looking back.

angry young man

Sun, 04 Sep 2011 15:10:01 -0400

jack sits at a diner table alone.
he picks at his eggs running, burnt toast,
bacon curled up disgusting like it’s hard
to cook bacon it’s just bacon and oh god,
the liquid light climbs up the mirror
toward the clock and the din disappears
and fork over plate he thinks
her outstretched and now that man
damn it, no, stop,
oh god,
the feel of a jaw unhinging under raging kunckles
of a bloody running no stop it and stop
and fork over plate and down and
he feels it in his neck, shoulders, chest,
eyes unfocused breath and breath.

stop. try again. food to mouth
bacon, how hard is bacon and
fork over plate
rage problem i have a problem
i’m scared of me and

stop. breath and stop. chest and neck
and breath and breath and stop it
stop it stand up cash
and door and car and stare
out unfocused stop it breath
and breath and breath and breath and feel,
for once, damn it who’s right stop,
ignition, radio and focus and clock.

three minutes.

shadow, dancing

Sat, 09 Jul 2011 17:44:23 -0400

i could become like a shadow
dancing on the sidewalk while
my body stands lamely
between the sun and me
sidewalk jiving,
obstructing dream
conquests i strive toward timeless
with a body stuck in time,
grinding its gears at a current endeavor
that creeps into being in the real.

we only make things to share with others
or nourish ourselves, the other.
we share time only, really,
pick a moment close enough
you’ll see that you are feeling
air exit your lungs to remind you
of your breathing

and i’m dancing, and i’m dancing,
the sun and i are dancing and
the sun’s time is leaving
and my time is fleeting and
i am a shadow existing in and out
of time with you the body lamely my mind
or a share of my mind
and my mind and my mind and
my mind shares with no time so
it exists not
less the spots.

artistic thing

Sat, 28 May 2011 21:14:01 -0400

i am a sharp thing
of the sun where i
process energy
while a rock reflects
mindlessly,

and a lens merely focuses,
but i process energy through
time in a non-linear manner,
the world’s most complicated machine
selling his time and improving his function.

can one have more thoughts than another?
are we an economy of thoughts on the market?
nobody needs an ideas person.

i am the world’s most complicated machine.
i take inputs and process them unlike
the reflective moon, so stupid though powerful,
for i am small, i am a small processing thing,
the world’s most complicated machine,
and i define output through words and my fingers
and my voice and i make them pretty
according to the world’s most complicated
algorithm,
or something,
for i am a living artistic thing
thinking and feeling and leaving
traces of my time and hoping
they are pretty,
unlike the reflective rock
or focusing lens,
approved output from this world’s
most complicated machine,
a living artistic thing.

Biphasic Sleeping Update: Day whatever

Sat, 23 Apr 2011 12:57:40 -0400

Biphasic sleeping is just napping and I take naps most days now so I can stay up late and it works swimmingly. The Spanish got this whole siesta thing pretty spot-on.

I’ve found as long as I try to nap in the general vicinity of 7:30 I’m fine. When I try and push it back to like 10:00 or so and just catch an hour, things get a little fuzzy.

Now to make another big push forward so I can get some of this work I’ve been doing, you know, LAUNCHED.

Crucial beard update.

Fri, 22 Apr 2011 22:38:47 -0400

Crucial beard update.

schism

Thu, 14 Apr 2011 23:35:43 -0400

and then my soul was chopped from me;
bright gem; thing i had nutured lovingly.

when i went to bed i set it aside
away from her, even, when that was right,
which mind led to disasters i’ll have you

know the truth about the matter now
was distant then, a glimmer in the glass

on sunday colored brightly and also
all that was good about those sundays when

i sat nervous and sinful at the pew
and then my soul was chopped from me.

know the truth about the matter now
from spiritual sages through the ages
and wisdom tested for eons and more:

there is no soul to cut all is the soul
sun and moon and it’s alright son it’s alright son.

dentist feelings (an abc poem)

Sun, 10 Apr 2011 23:50:20 -0400

always beware callous dentists.
empathy for growing heaping imperious
jarring keen lumbering monstrous
nasty omnipresent PAIN QUAKES
remains someone’s task,
until vacation with xanax yields zen.

This is for a challenge from @harriet_poetry

Biphasic Sleeping Day 4: Keeping it real

Sat, 09 Apr 2011 15:57:06 -0400

So after making sure everyone understands that I know I’m just taking a nap every day I reminded myself of this same fact when I went to take my nap yesterday. Basically I told myself if I ended up tossing and turning too much I would just get up later. Screw it.

So naturally I had a wonderful nap, got up at 9:00 like I’m supposed to, watched some AFL while hanging out with my girlfriend, and did some work with a beer before I rolled into bed at 3:45. It was nice, kind of like how a Friday should be.

I could get to like this.

drunk poetry with calculus

Sat, 09 Apr 2011 03:04:00 -0400

make yourself remember that beer
makes you happy. every day.
remember that beer flows like crystals
in the sand, rather sand through
crystals, keeping time in an
aggregate manner and
backwards and again.

Regression. Regression to the mean is comfortling
like gravity back to the carrying surface.

the average of existence is the carrying surface
for our lives, day by day, and gravity imitates
lives like lives imitate art.

derivatives. integrals. calculus for the artistic soul.
tangents between us shift forever, land together
in a pot of unused ingredients before lent,
and i feel rich for food and paczkis.

Friday night. Good beer. Hipster phone app. Amusement all...

Sat, 09 Apr 2011 02:33:18 -0400

Friday night. Good beer. Hipster phone app. Amusement all around.

Biphasic Sleeping Day 3: Yes, it's just napping every day

Fri, 08 Apr 2011 11:39:39 -0400

Day 3 was a bit rough, though I think that’s more about having a lot to do and overloading the ol’ brain than the whole sleeping thing. We’ll see. My nap was so-so and I actually ended up hitting the sack a little after 3:30.

This brings up something important: this isn’t polyphasic sleeping. It’s just napping every day at around the same time so your body is used to it. The Spanish are pretty good at this idea. The idea is to regulate your sleep schedule somewhat to have more even energy and to distribute your productive hours with that energy. That’s really it. Even if I end up sleeping the same number of hours total, if I’m more productive then it’s a net win. If I’m not then it was fun. I’ll analyze things briefly on the weekend of the 23 to see if it’s worth pushing forward with the full one month trial. I’m guessing it will be, early returns are pretty promising and I think if this week is the “fatigue” that I’m supposed to go through then I should be in good shape.

I’m looking forward to the weekend and working on my projects instead of scrambling at work (not that scrambling at work isn’t worthwhile, things are on schedule).

Bottom line: Yeah, it’s just napping every day. Not crazy.

"THAT ONE COUNTS FOR YESTERDAY TOO! I’M STILL DOING NAPOMO!!!"

Fri, 08 Apr 2011 03:20:43 -0400

“THAT ONE COUNTS FOR YESTERDAY TOO! I’M STILL DOING NAPOMO!!!”

- Me, a minute ago.

sandberg grass at 24

Fri, 08 Apr 2011 03:20:00 -0400

just wading my way right through it
wading through time up to my knees
and that’s scary.

still young like an unburdened horse
but with training,
like an unburdened trained thing
plowing its path through grass up to its knees…

sandberg grass. plowing and wading.
swimming and running, one day maybe
if i move forward i’ll find my gait
and run run run run run….

till I sit on a bench and twinkle my eyes
and smile at memories yet to fade
and springtime, again.

Biphasic Sleeping Day 2: I feel great! I'm sleepy.. I feel great!

Thu, 07 Apr 2011 10:18:53 -0400

So yesterday was day 2 of this experiment. I received a tweet from a friend of mine telling me I was totally going to go insane by the end of this. Or rather, my going insane would be the end of this.

That ship’s probably sailed though, let’s be honest.

The nap yesterday was much better. I’m guessing I probably actually slept for about an hour out of the 90 minutes in bed. I woke up feeling a little sleepy but once I got up and took a shower I felt great!

I caught one of my rooomates as she was coming in and suggested we go drink a bit. Had a couple of beers (DOUBLE Crooked Tree IPA?! Yes please, Dark Horse!) and grabbed some ice cream from 7-11, then came back. It felt weird to be out and about at midnight or so and really not even be remotely tired. Even on a late night you kind of have to get a head of steam to make it to 3 or so. This felt like casual day drinking. It was weird.

After hanging out with my girlfriend (who didn’t get home until 1 or so) for a bit I got to work on a logo design for a site I’m working on. I also spent a little time on third tribe and poked around at some of the technologies I’m going to want to use for launch. It’s getting close and exciting.

This morning I was pretty freaking tired but a bit of coffee and I’m up and moving. Let’s do this.

Sleepy biphasic tester is sleepy… also playing with...

Thu, 07 Apr 2011 09:52:46 -0400

Sleepy biphasic tester is sleepy… also playing with hipster apps.

Approaching week 3 with the beard. I’m still unsure if...

Wed, 06 Apr 2011 22:17:00 -0400

Approaching week 3 with the beard. I’m still unsure if it’s going to make it. This is also post-nap in day 2 of my biphasic sleep experiment.

GOPYW, by the way.

rough making

Wed, 06 Apr 2011 11:53:45 -0400

some days the going’s smooth
some days rough
some people grow wheels
and roll about because mother our wits
are not enough without output to show
for the musings you value from your
son/daughter/child so brilliant
and yet
the proof of sunlight
and water
and nutrients
is in the plant.

and without a forest to show
for all the musings you have known
laying in bed with a ceiling fan
spinning your thoughts like a cotton gin…

child, you are a sterile cog…
in a recession of cogs…
only organic genesis will save you from this fate.

will you grow a forest (or better
yet a crystal?)

Inside David Foster Wallace's Private Self Help Library

Wed, 06 Apr 2011 11:43:15 -0400

Inside David Foster Wallace's Private Self Help Library:

wordpainting:

fixmyheadproductions:

This is an excellent article, especially if you are a fan of DFW.

Excellent is a total understatement. This article is one of the very best in a large collection of good work on a complicated, brilliant man.

Biphasic Sleeping Day 1: Nom nom nom coffee nom

Wed, 06 Apr 2011 11:41:38 -0400

I started the biphasic sleeping experiment yesterday. My nap didn’t quite go as planned (damn you coffee at 2:30!) but I stuck it out and made it to 4. I noticed that if I don’t get my nap right it ends up with having a pretty irritating headache. I’ll try and avoid that nonsense going forward.

I don’t feel all that tired today but I anticipate being able to sleep just fine for my nap at 7:30.

Speaking of, I’ve decided on the following sleep schedule: 7:30-9:00PM, 4:00-8:30AM. I may end up getting out of bed closer to 9:00AM to start, but so it goes. This isn’t polyphasic; hopefully it won’t matter too much.

It is a bizarre experience to be up late consistently. Already I have noticed an uptick in productivity. It’s actually nice to not really have the option to just flick on the TV to watch a little NBA or something. I’m making good progress on my e-book and have already started planning a few funnel opportunities in anticipation of launch (which is going to happen, I know this now). The goal is to be up and running with the full system in the month of May. So, May 1st, we roll.

I’m noticing that there’s a good chance I’m going to have to change my meal structure a bit to compensate for my strange hours. A little snack around 2AM sounds about right. Thankfully I live in a college town where getting food at that time isn’t ridiculous (if I don’t want to make it myself).

Onward forward. God I’m looking forward to this nap.